Rantings

The dog behaviourist came on Saturday. She did some work with Sonny, then asked if there was a field nearby where we could do some long leash work. I said I didn't want to walk past that bloke's house but she assured me that he wouldn't say or do anything, and besides she was with us. So off we went. Boy was she wrong. Out the house they came (him and his wife) and started shouting and bawling at us. He kept saying that he was personally going to make sure that the dog was put to sleep and told the behaviourist that she was wasting her time because the dog was going to be dead soon. Ian warned him that if anything did happen to Sonny he would be in trouble (with the police) and the guy started bracing himself shouting "what did you say?" and making threatening advances towards Ian. His wife claimed that her son had been mauled by our dog (he had been nipped through his clothing ... didn't even draw blood) and complained that they hadn't even had an apology. To be honest, if my dog had mauled the boy I'd have taken him to be put to sleep myself immediately. I told her that her husband hadn't even given us a chance to apologise. As soon as we opened our front door to him he started with the bullying and threatening tactics. She said we'd had all week to come and apologise and I said I was steering well clear because he'd behaved like a psycho and frightened me. Then the bloke said to me "just you wait, I'm going to show you what real fear is". The behavourist was trying to reason with them, too, but they wouldn't listen to anything she had to say and told her she didn't know what she was talking about.

I no longer feel safe in my own home. I'm having serious panic attacks and I'm just a bag of nerves. The police should be visiting us again either this afternoon or this evening. Someone advised me to keep a diary of events. These are known as temporaneous notes and are admissable evidence, apparently. Let's face it this guy is going to end up with a civil harrassment case haunting him if this doesn't get sorted soon. We are doing everything above board, and are doing all that can be reasonably expected of us to ensure this never happens again. Having our dog killed for giving the boy some bruises is not reasonable. I will fight the bastard every step of the way.

It used to be that home was the only safe place to be. Anyone who has suffered anxiety/depression with associated agoraphobia will know what I'm talking about. One avoids situations which bring on panic attacks, such as being pushed about by crowds in the shops down to stupid things like answering the phone or front door. It escalates so that one's world becomes smaller and smaller, till eventually the only safe place is the chair you're sitting in and still the panic attacks don't go.

It's taken me a long, long time (several years) to work through this, and with the help of an absolutely brilliant psychotherapist over the past year I'm well on the way to leading a normal life ... so much so that I was starting to seriously think about trying to get back into work.

Sunday's events, however, seem to have had a major impact on my progress, but not in the way in which you might think. I'm starting to have anxiety attacks when I'm IN THE HOUSE on my own. After the threats we received at our front door on Sunday I no longer feel safe and can't wait to get out of the house in the morning. Today I spent the day at Ian's shop helping out, but when it became time to go home I started fretting and worrying about it. I was having palpitations, trembling and feeling nauseous. I had a pain in my chest and I was fighting back the urge to yell and sob and run away. It was just awful.

I did, however, overcome it, said goodbye to Ian and drove home as calmly as possible. Now I'm home it's not so bad, but the anger I now feel is almost overwhelming. I doubt if the bloke would give toss how much of an effect he's had on me, but I'm so angry all I want to do is go and smash his effing head in! No, don't worry, I'd never do it, but I've never felt rage as powerful as this in my whole life. If only I had some way of venting it. Maybe I should take up boxing ... waddya think? ;-)

Haven't been on for a while, but I've had a really stressful day and I'm just so chewed up I can't sleep, so I just had to let some of it out, so I'll say sorry in advance for boring you ...

Today, my dog bit a child. :-( Nothing serious, just a couple of nips ... didn't even go through his clothing, but that's not the point. He went for an eleven year old child. I feel so shocked and ashamed, I just want a big hole to open up in the ground and swallow me. I apologised to the boy, and a neighbour took him in (the boy had come to visit the neighbour's son when my dog rushed out of his own garden and into the neighbours') and said he would let his dad know. I said we would be in all day so he could come and talk to us about it.

Well, sure enough, he turned up, didn't even give us a chance to apologise and try to make amends, just told us he was calling the police and if they didn't order us to put Sonny to sleep he would come back and cut his throat. Needless to say, I was utterly shocked and just stood there at the door staring at him in disbelief. Once the door was closed I started crying again and shaking uncontrollably. That guy really really scared me.

Now, I know Sonny has problems, but I had no idea it was anywhere near as bad as this. We've only had him a few months, he came from a rescue place, and as well as being immaciated, he showed all the signs of being beaten and abused. He has some neuroses which we have been working on. He's been doing really well with his obedience training, and towards everyone else we know he is friendly and affectionate, so naturally, this came as a huge shock. And on top of that I had vicious threats from the boy's father.

Well, I phoned my cousin's house. Her husband is a policeman, and spoke to him, asking for advice. Or rather, I bubbled and wept while trying to speak coherently. He was very understanding and said that it didn't work that way, that he had no right to demand Sonny be destroyed, that the police did not have the power to order he be euthanised, and that the chances are it wouldn't even go to court. The boy sustained minor injuries, and in all his years in the police he had not known of one case like this that crown prosecution took up.

At worst we might get a fine, but more than likely we would get letter stating that we be required to ensure that he be more properly secured in future. Fair enough. I take full responsibility for my dog's actions and I agree he was dangerously out of control in a public place. He also said we should ring the police as well, to report the incident (which we are required to do so anyway) but to also tell them of the man's threats.

Well, a while later, the police arrived. He'd already been to talk to the boy and his father and took a statement. He'd also told the man that because he had made those threats that if anything happened to Sonny there would be arrests made at his house. Apparently the guy apologised to the officer for his conduct, but of course we can't expect an apology. Let's face it, he didn't get one from us ... he never gave us a chance! (To be truthful, I feel his son deserves the apology, not him.) We had to go down to the station to be interviewed on audio tape.

After the interview, the officer told us what the boy had put on his statement, and, as eleven year olds are apt to do, he had embellished his story somewhat! Apparently, Sonny latched onto his leg and violently shook his head for 10 seconds before having a go at the other leg! Now, I can't get angry at the boy, he'd had a nasty shock and maybe that is how he perceived it, but his dad saw those wounds (minor abrasions caused by friction from the fabric of his clothing and bruising from the pressure of the nips) and yet he believed what his son told him, and that's what really gets to me! Everyone else is in the wrong and of course his son is such an angel he just wouldn't tell a wee lie! I understand that he was angry and being protective over his boy, but really! Doesn't he realise he's just making himself appear really really stupid?

Anyway, the policeman told us that we seemed like sensible people who were already taking steps to correct Sonny's behaviour and had plans to install a larger gate and a crate for Sonny, and we had contacted a dog behaviourist for help, and that he really didn't think anything was going to come of it. Now we just have to wait and see.

Incidentally, the dog therapist is costing us £240. Just don't ask where the money is coming from because we don't know yet. But something has to be done. Money can be replaced. Sonny can't.

The vet rang yesterday. It is a histiocytoma after all, so I can now relax. :-)

On a lighter note, Ian came home tonight with Sonny after walking him and told me that he (Sonny) had made his first kill! Aargh! I've never had a dog that killed anything! Biff's caught lots of things but didn't hurt any of them and let them all go once she got bored. Sonny killed a rabbit outright and brought it back to show Ian, but the rotten scone wouldn't bring it home with him!! Harrumph! I'd have brought it home and put it in a pie. I love rabbit. But not Ian. He said he didn't think he could eat anything that he had just seen killed. The daft sod. If that was the case I'd have shared the pie with Sonny.

Some of you who have been reading my blog from before November will know that my beloved seventeen year old pooch, Biff, died quietly in my arms after battling cancer for several months.

Last night, Sonny, my two and a half year old Border Collie dog was playing with Ian when he (Ian!) noticed that he had a lump on his leg. I've just got back from the vet surgery. As he's had breakfast this morning they can't take it off today, so he's got to go back tomorrow morning to have it taken off and sent to the labs. Please keep your fingers crossed that it turns out to be benign. I don't think I could take losing another dog to cancer so soon.

Well, that about wraps it up for the photo entries. I'd just like to say a big thank you to Aris and Lula for making us feel so welcome, and for anyone else wanting to visit Kefalonia, go to Katelios Studios in Katelios!! You won't be disappointed!

The owners of the studios. From right to left: Lula, Georgio, Georgio's girlfriend (never did learn her name), and Aris.

And I don't want you see my sunburned nose, either!

No, I don't want my picture taken!!

A view across to Assos on a clear day.

This is the monastery. Very very pretty.

... and ostriches. Hang on a sec ... ostriches?!! For reasons no doubt only known to the monks, these were kept at the Monastery of Agios Gerasimou.

... wild goats ...

... a gecko ...

... swallowtails ...

.... an swallows ...

There were cute little lizards everywhere!

Our first night there and already we were being introduced to the locals at our front door!

Well, I'm back. Came back on Sunday, actually, but didn't get my photos transferred from camera to PC till now ... you know how it is ... too much laundry and unpacking to do, shopping, family to visit, etc! Our apartment was nice and clean, though basic ... which is all we expected for the money we paid! Still, there was a nice cool pool and a bar, so what more could we ask for? And to top it off, our favourite restaurant, Persa's Taverna, was just over the road. We hired a car for the full two weeks so we got to travel around the island quite a bit. Photos to follow shortly. I guess the only bad thing I have to say about Kefalonia is it has far too many mosquitoes. I'm still taking antihistamines even now!

Well, I'm off on my jollies tomorrow. It's been a while since my last entry, and to be honest I've been so busy washing, ironing and packing, I've been too tired to post an entry the past couple of days anyway. Still, off to the Med I go, to soak up the sun, drink cold beer, and eat lots of my favourite rabbit stifado!

So, enjoy, folks! Behave while I'm gone, and maybe there'll be some interesting photos to show you when I get back!

Toodle-oo!

I'm seriously thinking of building one of these when I go to Kefalonia in a week's time!

Click on the image to go to the website.

My new greenhouse!

It's erected and glazed and nearly all finished! We got this greenhouse for free, so it was quite a bargain. Ian is currently building me shelves and potting tables, and one of them is in use already! I'm so excited ... I have transferred my tomatoes, peppers and chilies to the greenhouse, so we'll see what happens. :-)

On a not so good note ... my new RAM seems to be faulty. The bigger hard drive runs like a dream, but my pooter won't boot up from HD or CDRom when the new RAM is in, so obviously I had to remove it. I'll be leaving in an hour to go to my therapy appointment and will stop off at the repair shop on the way, so I'll keep you posted as to what's happening. Ho hum.

UPDATE: The bloke at the repair shop tried it in my laptop and his own and it did exactly the same thing in both of them ... which is nothing. No booting up, nothing. So he tried another one with exactly the same results. Needless to say, they are going back to the manufacturer, and hopefully he will have one that works for me tomorrow. I'm going over there tomorrow lunch time to pick it up.

Sorry for the quiet period, folks. My hard drive died without warning, so my pooter has been in the pooter hospital having a hard drive transplant and memory enhancement treatment.

It is now recovering, with lots of TLC, and I should be back blogging as usual once I have all my necessary software installed.

TTFN

Well yesterday was ok. I took Sonny to the vet because he'd been bum-surfing so I though he'd need his anal glands checked out, plus he has fleas. I'd sprayed the house ready so I wanted him checked over as I wanted to start him on Program. That's what I'd always used before on my own dog and before that was around I used good old flea spray. Well, they didn't have any Program, so I came away with Frontline, instead. So long as it does the job I don't really care what I use.

Then in the afternoon I had my psychotherapy session which was ok. I felt a bit weepy and wobbly when I came home, so when Ian asked me if I wanted to go anywhere for dinner I ended up opting for an Indian takeaway and sat in front of the telly with his bathrobe on. I like his bath robe ... it's big and warm and comfy.

My new wireless router is fab! It's wonderful being able to take my laptop anywhere in the house and still have an internet connection. At the moment the printer is on the living room floor and has been since I got it! It's a bloody great laser printer that I use for printing my soap labels and also my postage 'stamps' as I use smartstamp to send out all my online orders. Smartstamp requires you be online when you print your stamps as it debits your smartstamp account at the time you print them, which means the printer has always had to be somewhere near the DSL modem. Now I can move it upstairs out of the way and get rid of all this spaghetti on the floor that I'm always tripping over! Yay! It's a bloomin' heavy printer, though, so I might have to ask Ian to carry it upstairs for me as my foot is not pain free yet.

I got some nice Clarins stuff from Ian's mam and dad for my birthday, so I had a little facial pamper last night, which made me feel a bit better, and Geoff brought me a box of Thorntons truffles, so we had one each after out Indian. He also brought me a large ornament that looks like one of those stone heads on Easter Island. I think it's meant to be an outdoor ornament for the garden (at least it has a 'frost resistant' sticker on the inside), but I like it and have it on top of the TV.

And guess what my Mam and Dad and sister got me? A Bodhran! LOL I have always been a little bit musical and can sing and knock a tune out of most instruments, but I have never played any sort of percussion instrument before. I don't even have a decent sense of rythm. I have one other instrument that has got me completely stumped and that's a didgeridoo. Man, are they difficult to play! I'm hoping there'll be lessons run near here some time, but in the meantime I will persevere and try to learn to play the bodhran. If I can find an appropriately shaped tuit (ie a round one) I will post a picture of it.

Right now I'm off to get a cup of coffee and some toast. I have another appointment with the orthotist this morning to have my night splint fitted, so I'd better get moving.

Ian's been preparing the garden to put the greenhouse up this morning. I started washing the glass panes. Bit of aboring job really, but it was nice to be outside while it lasted ... the heavens opened a short while ago. Then Geoff came over and brought me a card and pressie for my birthday, so that was nice. I won't open the pressie until tomorrow, though, even though I'm dying to know what it is.

Right, I'm off to make a sarnie for lunch, then back to work in the garden.

Oh, by the way, my foot is starting to feel better already! No excrucitiating pain this morning when I got out of bed. Yeah!

This is just a test. It's my birthday on Monday, and guess where Ian took me get my birthday present? Go on, guess! Ok, shall I tell you?

Aldi. Really. LOL. Actually, I was in there the other day and noticed they had some nice looking wireless routers for £69, so I told him about them and he got me one. So I guess I got my pressie a couple of days early as I'm posting this through it.

So, please, treat this as a test and be on your way. And I'll leave you to guess where my next entry will be posted from ... the bath, the toilet, the sunlounger in the garden ...

Yay! Nice to see the 'stuffy' old British Museum has a sense of humour! Go Banksy, go! Click on the picture to go straight to the news article.

I have a sore foot. I mean I have a really sore foot. I've had a sore
foot for a few years, but as it's come on very gradually, I can't say
exactly how long, or indeed why I didn't think to visit a doctor before
I did. I suppose with something that grumbles away in the background
you just sort of learn to live with it.

Unfortunately, 10 mile hikes were gradually reduced to 2 mile hikes, so
I eventually went to see my doctor. 'Plantar Fasciitis' he called it,
and gave me some exercises to do with instructions that if it got
worse, or didn't get any better anyway, to go back and he would give me
an injection directly into my foot 'but it will hurt'. Lovely.

Well, I'm a whimp when it comes to pain, so I opted to persevere with
exercises, determined to get it better and back up to walking 10 miles
again. However, I found that the exercises made my foot more painful
so I stopped doing them, BUT I still chickened out of going to have
that injection.

Months down the line and 2 mile walks were reduced to a walk down the
back lane with the dog, which were quickly reduced to limping to the
end of the garden and back. I was desperate. I was at my wit's end.
I thought it was only a matter of time before I couldn't walk at all, so
Ian did a bit of research online and decided that the best thing for me
would be to see a podiatrist/chiropodist/orthotist.

Well, I went to see someone one Tuesday, and a £50 deposit later (the
balance to be paid next Tuesday) I have a splint on order which is to
be fitted next Tuesday too. I have to wear it at night in bed to keep
my toes pointing upward. He also said I really ought to just grit my
teeth and have that injection, so I took my friend along (I really am a
whimp) and got my doctor to inject it.

Ow!! What else can I say, but Ow! It bloody hurt!! He's lucky I
didn't kick him while he was doing it! He poked and prodded with his
fingers till he found the most painful spot (as if that didn't hurt
enough) and then stuck a bloody great needle right into it! Jeez, I
nearly hit the roof! Then he told me 'It'll throb for a few days, so
I'll give you some strong painkillers'. 'Bloody hell', I thought, 'I
thought this was supposed to make it better!' 'Plus, he said, you'll
not feel the benefit of the injection for 1 to 2 weeks.' 'Great!' I
thought. 'That's me laid up for me birthday.'

So, I'm typing this with a very sore foot. My heel is hot, swollen and
throbbing, so I'm off to take one of me strong painkillers. Poor Sonny
can't even have his morning walk, so he'll just have to play fetch in
the garden for a bit till he's tired out.

Anyone else got this condition? I like to hear about your experiences
with it.

I thought this website was hilarious and deserved an airing. Courtesy of Dave Barry ... again! Just click on the picture to go to the website.

Fantastic news!! Oi loikes beer!

http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/archive/200307/22/20030722p2a00m0dm019000c.html

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,15186061-13762,00.html

Yeeeeaaaarrgh! [Runs away]

So, today I spent a few hours in Ian's shop updating fabric prices. I hate that job. It takes ages, and it's so boring I can't do it for more than 3 or 4 hours at a time. Still, once it's done, it's done, and hopefully won't need doing again for another year. The trouble is, if I'm only doing 4 hours a day, I could be on for 3 or 4 weeks at this rate!

On a different note, we had a delivery of mealworms and kibbled sunflower hearts for the birds yesterday. When I put mealworms out I just stick my hand in the bag and grab a handful to put in the dish. They wriggling worms feel kind of tickly! Well, I just found out today Ian doesn't like touching them. LOL The big wuss! He made a seed feeder out of an old coke bottle today to put up at the back of the shop. He already has a bird table attached to the wall of the yard and gets blue tits and all sorts, so thought it might be a good idea to provide worms to feed their chicks, and sunflower hearts because according to the RSPB they're a favourite of blue tits.

And guess what else?! I have indigotin!! The pigment obtained from woad!! Yeah! It's my first pigment I've managed to extract from it, and from one whole mature plant I reckon I've maybe got about a level teaspoonful! LOL Still, it's worked, and there may be enough there to dye perhaps one ball of wool! My sister will be pleased, hopefully, as she's the knitaholic. My next batch of indigotin will be going into a small batch of soap.


Indigotin from Woad


For anyone wanting to have a go at this, you can buy the seeds to grow it here, and you can find instructions on extraction and dyeing here.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3273562a4560,00.html

I was tickled pink by this article and just had to share, for those of you who don't read his blog ...

Looks like we finally got our greenhouse. Not a dog this time, a real greenhouse. We had to dismantle it ourselves, but as it was free I can't really complain. we've got all the panes of glass out and brought them home, and dismantled part of the frame, but we got fed up with the hailstones that kept coming down hard, so we gave up and planned on returning to get the rest.

Sonny was a real sweety today. He really seems to like target training, and runs to touch the stick with his nose now so that he can get his treat as quick as possible. He's such a clever boy!

Well, I'm off to bed now. It's late, I'm tired, and I have stuff to do in the morning, so I'd better turn in. Night, folks.

I got this meme from the Complimenting Commenter, and in true meme fashion it's spreading like an epidemic. It's a compli-meme. Go out and spread the news.

Finish these sentences in a complimentary fashion. Copy, paste, finish and leave them in someone's comment box. Then post them on your own site and pass the word.

1. WOW! You're site is

2. That post was very

3. You're

YOU'VE BEEN COMPLI-MEME'D. GO OUT AND DO LIKEWISE.

An extra smile goes to those who participate.

We got a new dog the other week. We were looking for a greenhouse in the ad mags and happened to accidentally browse through the pets section (as you do) and saw an ad for a two and a half year old border collie dog needing a good home.

Naturally, how could we resist? We were going to call him Greenhouse, because that's what we were after, but settled for Sonny in the end. ;-)

He's very intelligent. He's even got internet access and went and set up his own blog! Honest!

http://www.adogsblog.blogspot.com/

Wow, I really must try to keep up with my journal. This just isn't good enough! I just get swept up in stuff and before I know it weeks have passed!

Well, so far as the sushi goes, Ian ate it, and he didn't complain, but I know he didn't like it! His face lit up when I grilled the remaining tiger prawns with some bacon and served it up with some tomato and garlic mayonnaise!

Beamish Museum phoned me up on Monday with an order. I have plenty of soap made, but not wrapped, and now I've gone and sprained my thumb and I'm having difficulty wrapping the damn things! Argh! I wanted this whole thing to start off without a hitch, but why is it that that's never the case?! I have 144 bars to wrap, too! Oh well, I just have to wrap in small batches, have a rest, and wrap a few more. They'll get them, just not this week.

I made chilli for dinner last night. It was yummy. We had it with basmati rice (because it's my favourite and doesn't take long to cook!) and grated mature cheddar (I didn't have any Monteray Jack). It was yummy. We were really naughty and didn't have salad or anything with it! LOL Still, we have been having fruit after our meals, so we're not completely unhealthy.

Poor Ian has been really poorly since last Friday. I think yesterday was his first ok-ish day. We both got some virus that made us really tired and achey and shivery, and I got over it quite quickly, but he has had it longer than me, and even though he's been going to work, he's been coming home early, taking paracetamol and curling up on the settee with a blanket over him. Aww, bless him. It's not like him to be ill, and when he is, he really is. Unlike me. I seem to get every little sniffle or cough or tummy bug going, and constantly feel like crap, but it doesn't last long.

Well, I've just been to the post office to drop off a bundle of parcels and now I'm going to make a cup of coffee and then start wrapping soaps!!

I'm really looking forward to tonight. A few days ago I order a sushi kit from the Japanese Kitchen and it arrived yesterday. So, this evening I'm going to try my hand at making sushi. Thing is, I'm only familiar with nori sushi, the little rice rolls wrapped up in seaweed, but in the kit I also got a packet of O-Inari san, beancurd packets, for making inari sushi. I've never had it before, and I'm a bit undecided as to whether I should have a go at making that, too. Has anyone had it and can tell what it's like? Decisions, decisions.

It'll be the first time my hubby has had sushi (he, like many others, has been under the misconception for years that sushi = raw fish) so I'm a little worried that he won't like it. He said he's going to phone the kebab shop and make sure they're on standby! Cheeky git!

Anyway, the real reason I'm writing about it is because I'm in desperate need of ideas for filling! I've already been out and bought some tiger prawns, shiitake mushrooms and an avocado, and I have cucumber and suchlike already in. Any other ideas? I do so want this to be a special dinner for my man!

"Hmmm ... where do I start? I guess the thing which is at the forefront of my mind is my wellbeing, or lack of, at the moment. I've been taking antidepressants for several years, but for the past few months I have been trying to wean myself off them in preparation for hubby and I undergoing fertility treatment. This is the third drug I've tried, and while it has proved the most effective in controlling my anxiety/depression, it has also proved to be the most difficult to stop taking. I have tried to explain to my GP, but I may as well be talking to a brick wall. In fact, I saw a different GP once, and she more or less told me it was all in my head! How the f**k would they know unless they try taking it themselves and then see what's in their head or not?! I'll try to explain.

I'm not dependant on ADs, not at all. They have helped, and proved useful. Unfortunately, I was not warned about symptoms of withdrawal if I was to stop taking them. Over the past few months, I have gradually gone from the equivalent of 4 tablets a day down to a quarter tablet every other day. I was actually told by my GP that once I was down to one a day I was to reduce the dose to one every other day, then after a month reduce it to one every third day, etc. I tried one every other day and felt so ill on the days I wasn't taking them that I took it upon myself to start cutting the tablets in half and taking a half daily. They are tiny anyway, so I had to use nail scissors! Before I started doing that it was a relief to take my tablet after the day off, just so that I could feel normal for a day! Anyway, on the days I wasn't taking them, I would feel lightheaded, I'd get that awful restless leg syndrome, I'd feel like there were ants crawling all over me, I'd feel nauseous, and at night I'd get involuntary twitching in my legs. Does that sound like it's all in my head to you?! Eventually, I cut the tablets down to a quarter every other day, and I managed to stay on that dose until my tablets ran out. I've now been off them for 4 days, and I feel weird. Nowhere near as bad as before as I guess I've got my body used to a reduced dose before stopping entirely, but I don't feel safe to drive, and I'm having difficulty sleeping at night. My whole body aches with fatigue, yet my mind is wide awake and active, and it's so frustrating! I can hardly do a thing without collapsing in a chair with exhaustion afterwards, but I know that this will pass.

The trouble is, my hubby is having a hard time understanding. The night before last he did a huge pile of ironing as I hadn't been able to, but he huffed and grumbled and slammed his way through it as if to make a statement that I should have done it before now. I said nothing, went to bed and left him to it, but the next morning, he was awful. He lost his temper with me and basically told me to stop being so lazy (in a roundabout way), then stormed off to work. I was so upset and honestly felt that if he wasn't going to give me the support I needed to get through this I would have no option but to leave home until I was well. We've been together 15 years and the thought of leaving him, even for a short while, was heartbreaking, but I just didn't feel I had any choice!

Well, to cut a long story short, I telephoned him after I'd had a cry and calmed down a bit, and explained my thoughts and how much he upset me, and he was great. At times he's a totall git, but then I consider how lucky I am to have someone like him. He's loving, caring and hardworking, and I love him to bits. He's completely clueless at times, but I just put that down to the fact he's a bloke, and we women should make allowances for their shortcomings!

I wanted to say so much more in this entry, but unfortunately it's turned into selfish rant, and I'm afraid I've bored you enough. Besides, I can't even remember what else it was I wanted to say now. So I'll leave it there, and if I haven't scared you off I'll post more as and when it comes to me. If nothing else, it has proved useful in that I have written down the effects of not taking the drugs and can feel a bit more 'solid' about it when I next go to see the doctor. If I can help it, I will not be taking them again!!

Take care, folks, and have a good weekend!

Well, I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year. Mine was so hectic I didn't have much of a chance to post to my journal because I seem to have every day booked up with something or other ... which is surprising as my parents are in Australia, and I thought it would have been nice and peaceful without them expecting me at their house every other day!!! LOL
Anyway, my main Christmas pressie was a rather nice Hitachi DVD-RAM camcorder, so needless to say, I've burned 3 DVDs already!! Well, 2 of them were of the New Years celebrations, one for me and one for Ian's friend, Geoff, who was with us at the time. I bought Ian an HP iPAQ 1710 PDA, which he is rather pleased with. I was worried because I didn't know if he would appreciate it, but he's really pleased with it!
On 2nd Jan my first soap orders of the year started rolling in!! There is a pile of about 9 parcels waiting to be posted in the morning! Let's hope that this is an indication of what is to come for the rest of the year!
I'd better go now. I've had a few wee drinkies and I'm sort of waffling about nothing interesting. I'll try to post again tomorrow and say something coherent when I do. ;-)
Buy, folks.