Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Yesterday I thought Ian was coming home. He phoned me to say he was being discharged, that he was having his staples removed and his IV canula and that once they'd got him some equivalent oral antibiotics he could go home. He sounded so happy! And I was so excited to have him home! I couldn't wait!
An hour or so later he was back on sounding so despondent. His CRP levels had gone back up to 30-something and he was having to stay in till they found out why. It's was an awful day yesterday. I cried about every hour. I think eventually I was in a state of disbelief. Now I have no medical training so I may have this totally cock-eyed, so anyone with more knowledge than me, please correct me if I'm wrong ... my understanding is that the CRP (C-reactive protein) levels are a way of measuring inflammatory response. Considering his other blood results were within normal ranges, surely it makes sense that since his skin is showing some inflammation (he now has puffy patches on his cheeks) then his CRP levels will reflect this? There is nothing else to indicate infection or anything else going on. So why do I get the impression that the orthopaedic surgeon is just waiting for an excuse to open him up again? Why can't he just come home and let the rash subside on it's own? He's been given creams for it and he's on antihistamines. He's due back for a check up in week anyway! What's going on? I want him home!

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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Ian's still in hospital. Two weeks today. I miss him. I'm lonely. I seem to have absolutely no time to myself. I desperately needed a night out to wind down and the night I had planned last night fell through because nobody else ended up going and I couldn't go on my own. I just want him home. I miss him so much. My mum and dad and Ian's mum are helping out in the shop, and I couldn't manage work without them, but when I go home at night, after I've got back from the hospital, I am tired depressed and lonely. Very few friends have even bothered to phone to see how I am. Very few have bothered to visit Ian in hospital and he's the one who was seriously ill. He would have died if he hadn't gone to the hospital quickly. It's amazing how many people tell you to take care of yourself but offer no help to ensure you do just that. The past few nights I have cried myself to sleep because I feel so isolated, so helpless, and so unimportant to other people.

Ian's just phoned me to wish me goodnight. He phones every night. At least I am important to him. My lovely hubby. :-) I wish he was home.

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Still in hospital.  Still fighting infection.  Me not coping well at all. I have the wrong type of brain to cope with something like this - too many things to hold in my head at once.  Stressed +++++  Feeling like I'm falling apart. Worried and frightened for Ian. Words of encouragement much appreciated.

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Saturday, February 07, 2009

Ok, here's the update. I did indeed close the shop early on Friday, probably about 3pm, and went home to look after Ian. He is never ill, and even when he feels a bit ropey he just gets on with it, so when I got home and he still wasn't able to bear weight on the leg and he was having difficulty getting comfortable I knew he was in pain indeed.

I cooked dinner and we watched a bit of TV which took his mind off the pain a bit and went to bed. But we didn't sleep ... oh no! He was awake and I could hear his strained breathing as he tried to fight the pain, so I found I was up and down several times during the night trying to help him get comfy, putting pillows under his leg, rolling him slightly onto his left side, etc. At about 5am I gave him some painkillers, and then we were up at 7. I had to get back to the shop this morning to finish the work I had left. While I was there Ian phoned the out of hours doctor as the pain was still every bit as bad as it was when I took him to A&E on Thursday. He texted me to say he had been instriucted to go to the out of hours clinic at the hospital at 11am. So, we got there, and a very nice doctor examined him and took more blood and said she still thought he might have septic arthritis, so she admitted him there and then. I've been at the hospital today with him, during which time his temperature shot up, but came home at his insistence at 3pm. Just before I left, however, an orthopaedic consultant came round to see him. It seems they are still thinking he has a septic hip and want to do an ultrasound scan, followed by a fine needle aspirate. They may also want to open up the joint to flush it out and start him on IV antibiotics. Needless to say he ain't coming home soon.

So, I've left him at the hospital shivering, in severe pain, and with a mouth as dry as an arab's sandal as he is nil-by-mouth and with no pain medication until they decide if he's having surgery tonight or not. I felt awful leaving him, but my poor dog hasn't had a proper walk since this all started and he's starting to climb the walls (that's border collies for you, they are bred to work hard and so have vast amounts of energy).

And after two nights of no sleep you'd think I'd be looking forward to having a peaceful night tonight, but I'm not. I really don't want to spend the night on my own. Thank goodness I have a warm dog.

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Friday, February 06, 2009

I had to take my husband to A&E last night. We didn't get home till about 3:30am. Needless to say, I am tired and typing this in something of a daze when I should, in fact, be working.

Yesterday, he started complaining that his leg was aching as if he'd just run a marathon. He couldn't think of anything he may have done to cause the pain, so he brushed it off and carried on working.

We work together, and I usually leave for the Post Office and then home around 4pm while he stays on to work till 6 or 7pm. However, shortly after 5pm he sent me a text saying he was coming home and could I find him a walking stick as he was struggling to get around. When he got home he said he felt a bit ropey and need lots of assistance to get in the house and settled on the settee.

At 6:30pm I left for theatre group. While I was there he texted me again to say his temperature was going up and by about 9pm it had reached 100F and the pain was worsening and asked if I could stop off at the Co-Op for more painkillers for him.

I got home probably after 10pm. He looked awful. He was lying on the settee with the quilt over him, his face was pale and drawn and his temperature had gone up to almost 103F. The pain in his leg seemed to be excruciating for him. He said it went from his hip down to his calf, in one leg only.

I phoned NHS Direct. After providing them with as much information as possible, they decided he needed to go to hospital and put me through to the ambulance service who told me there was a 4 hour wait for cases that were not immediately life-threatening and asked if I could take him to A&E.

I took him in the company van as there is no way he could have got into our car, which is low-slung and slightly sporty (Toyota Celica). Even getting him in the van was a task and a half. I then had to slowly navigate all the speed bums to get out of our housing estate, and every bump caused him considerable pain.

Anyway, we got there, and I went and found a wheelchair for him while he waited in the van. Once in the hospital and registered I went to move the van to the visitors car park before I got a ticket!

Anyway, we didn't have to wait too long (thank goodness) and at around midnight were shown to a room/cubicle where we then had another difficult task of changing him into a gown. I won't go into every single boring little detail, but will just say over the next three hours he was subjected to examinations, blood tests, x-rays, more examinations, to eventually be told that they had no idea what was wrong with him. By this time his temperature was subsiding anyway and the pain had lessened a bit, his face looked a normal colour and he seemed generally more upbeat. It seems that they were concerned that he either had an infection in his hip (he had both of them replaced about 6 or 7 years ago) or he had septic arthritis, neither of with were indicated by the x-rays and blood tests. So he was sent home.

And that's it. I have had to come to work on my own and explain to all the customers that no they can't speak to him as he at home ill, and he is lying on the settee with his laptop, a pair of walking sticks, the TV remote, the phone, his mobile, painkillers and a large glass of water by his side. I've brought the dog to work so he's not bothered by him and so I can walk him during the day. I wish I could be at home to look after him. I hate him lying there in pain and not able to do anything for himself.

I think I may close the shop early today. Because today I'm the boss and I can.

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Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Your morality is 0% in line with that of the bible.

Damn you heathen! Your book learnin' has done warped your mind. You shall not be invited next time I sacrifice a goat.

Do You Have Biblical Morals?
Take More Quizzes

Thanks to Pinksy for turning me onto this one ...

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Monday, February 02, 2009

Well, it would appear that the Winter snow has finally arrived. In February. And Spring is not far away. Ho hum. As usual the country is coming to a complete standstill. Warnings are being issued on the radio not to go to work unless you absolutely have to. The entire London bus network has been cancelled. Because we have ALMOST a whole foot of snow. Honestly, it's pathetic. When I was a kid, if the roads were impossible to drive on we got wrapped up and walked to wherever we were going if it wasn't miles and miles away. I walked a few miles with my dog yesterday so walking to work is nothing. And what's more, I did it FOR PLEASURE! What the hell must be wrong with me? You know what? Walking is good for you psychologically. It helps to stave off depression, it has a calming effect and it helps to lighten the mental burdens of everyday life. Getting stuck in traffic for hours in snow doesn't.
I think I'll walk to work today.

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