Rantings

What a weekend!! I am utterly shattered!

Friday night we went to see Neil's band play at the Art's Centre (it was also Kate's birthday). Drinking, late nights, etc.

Saturday, Neil's wedding (another Neil) evening reception, made our escape (there is only so much Agadoo and Birdy Song one can take before losing the will to live) and went to Legends night club (metal/rock/goth/emo/you-name-it) - drinking, dancing, even later night ... got home around 4 am.

Tonight, went to see Hayseed Dixie at the Academy. Drinking, dancing, singing, generally having a bloody fantastic time.

Home. Feeling totally shagged. Need. Sleep. Legs ache. Feet ache.

I'm getting way too old for all of this.

Your Friday Music: Harptallica

Woah! That's like ... surreal! I need to sit down.

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
    

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
   

This article was written by B.S. Wheatberry in a desert after consuming mass quantities of yeast bread then realizing his canteen was empty. (seriously :P )

BBC NEWS | Scotland | North East/N Isles | Seagull becomes crisp shoplifter

Heh!

And here he is in action:

Theatre Group has been interesting of late. The past 3 weeks have been taken up with auditions and casting. Last Thursday we found out who had been cast and who had other production responsibilities. And yes, I got a part! Not a huge part, but I'm still chuffed for my first role. I play a policeman. Now, picture this ... Policeman 1 is well over 6 feet tall ... and then there's me. Policeman 2. Four feet 11 inches and almost as wide. The funny looking little sidekick. Put it this way, it's a pantomime, and if it gets a few laughs then I will have done my job. :-)

I'm also Head of Costumes which is a little scary, but I'm sure it will all come together. I posted a wanted notice on my local freecycle group on Friday evening and I've had a response already! I collect some donations on Monday so we'll see if there's anything suitable. If not for this time round then I can always stash it away for future productions. Ah ... remembered ... I can't collect on Monday as I have a wedding reception to go to ... wonder who that would be ... a couple from the group I seem to recall ... heh! Oh well, must email the fabric lady and let her know.

We went out to O'Neills Irish Bar in Durham last night to see a band - I think it was "Six Nowt" - but we didn't stay very long. Mr Lisa and I have both been poorly all week - since Monday morning.

So, am I the only one who thought that the BBC's coverage of Live Earth was absolute tripe? Am I the only one who thought that the inane drivellings of Corinne Bailey Ray could have been better replaced with the pre-recordings of bands from around the world? Why did they have to cut from some of the best performances in the UK to show these pre-recordings? I got the distinct impression that director didn't like heavy rock bands and just because he didn't want to watch it he didn't think anyone else in the UK should, too, so decided to cut to bloody Crowded House in Oz. Not that Crowded House are bad, mind you, but it was in Oz. How many people in the UK watched hoping to see Metallica, or Spinal Tap, only to be shown a bit of it? Those empty time filling interviews between sets would have been a much better opportunity in my opinion. I noticed that there were no cuts from Madonna to show events elsewhere in the world!

Well done, BBC. You bollocksed it up again.