Rantings

... courtesy of Phil ...




Aladdin And The Magic Lamp Panto

Via Of Course I Could Be Wrong ...

Oh no it isn't!!

Hello there boys and girls. Are you having a good time?!

Ahem. Sorry. Ok, I suppose I really should put my thoughts down about this whole panto thing if only for my own personal use as I will no doubt have forgotten the whole experience this time next year, most probably because I will be already involved in some way with WTGs next pantomime production.

Well. Last week was ... stressful to say the least. Not only because I was extremely nervous and didn't believe that I would be able to remember my lines but I also had some personal issues which made coping all the more difficult. This was my first ever appearance on stage and I was scared beyond belief. Add to that the pressure of making sure I was in the right place at the right time with the right props and saying the right things and I was a gibbering mess. Dry mouth, weak knees, heart thumping, the lot. Then there was this other issue in which I am not going into detail, and I just wanted to scream at a certain someone.

Anyway, I coped. Someone told me a couple of weeks ago of a friend of his who used to throw up before every performance, but reckoned that the payoff was worth it ... the buzz he felt when the audience clapped and cheered as the curtain went down. Imagine how disappointed I was last week when all I felt was relief that it was all over. Three performances in one weekend, and I felt completely mentally and physically exhausted.

So, after 5 days to digest all that had happened during that time and I was resolved to make sure I was not going to get stressed before the show. After all, the first three performances went ok, so I just had to convince myself that it would be a breeze this weekend. Not as easy as it sounds.

Still, I had my cue notes more organised than the week before and I really found it easier to get into the character. My props were in order and I was ready to go. And I must say it went well. Everyone acted brilliantly, especially the four main characters (Genie Djinn, Carpet, Aladdin and Abanaza [boo, hiss]) who I thought were just perfect, they made the whole show thoroughly entertaining. After all, you need more than a great script to make a great show. It also helps if you have a great audience, and yesterday's matinee was a pure joy to hearthe children cheering and shouting and booing and hissing in all the right places.

And did I get that buzz I was hoping for? You bet I did. I was on a total high last night. So, while Mr Lisa sent our buddies from the audience into the bar and helped clean up the auditorium for me, I got changed quickly, put on a bit of makeup and did my hair and off out we went to Rock with Ramrod's first rock night of the year, to catch the last couple of hours. I danced my socks off and feel thoroughly worn out this morning, but I haven't laughed and danced and enjoyed myself so much in a long time.

Unfortunately, I now need some painkillers for my oomehead that's coming on, but I suppose that's the price we pay for having a good time. :-)

It would appear that Will Smith has become a Scientologist.

I'm too tired and stressed to even think of a witty comment, so I shall leave that pleasure to you, my reader(s).

Via Pinksy

Eeek!

Only 4 days away. The pantomime. I'm nervous to say the least. Very nervous. I have had only one complete run through on Thursday, then one more this Thursday after which I am expected to know all my cues, the song, the dance, etc, and after that we go on stage for real Friday night.

Oh [insert deity of preference here]!!

Saturday and Sunday we did a bit of promotion with a board and handing out flyers, the second day in full costume, which was fun. Hopefully we'll get a few more in the audience through that.

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Now then. Whitby.

At the New Year celebrations I mentioned that I had had a pretty horrible hen night. I mean we went out for a meal, the service at the restaurant was not very good, everyone was miserable, some people left early and I ended up picking up the tab for them, and we were home by about 10:30pm. :-( Pretty shit really.

So, while me and the gang were in Shambles, somebody (don't know who, think it was a group thing) decided I should have another hen night at Whitby Gothic Weekend in April. Involving pink glittery cowboy hats to which Tori offered to attach some cyberlox or provide said lox for me to do my own stuff. Heh!!

Where to obtain pink glittery cowboy hats? Well, I've found sets of 10 on eBay quite reasonably, so I'll probably get them from there.

Anybody else got gimmicky ideas to add to the overall effect? All suggestions welcome.

Wow!

What a great weekend! Started it with Friday night at Persecution in Stockton, followed by All About New Year's Eve in Whitby for four nights to see the New Year in.

A truly wonderful time spent with good friends in a wonderful town having a fabulous time celebrating the end of the old year and the start of the new.

Many thanks to everyone who helped make me feel like 'somebody' instead of 'nobody' (especially to Sarah who really does understand).

Big hugs to Tori and Andy (what a nice bloke!), Sarah, Rick the Vic (aka Richard), Ian, Bugle Boy (aka Spike/Graham/Mayhem750 *delete as appropriate), Geoff, Graham and Sandra & Rachel.

And to finish the whole thing off, Ian sets fire to the oven while trying to make bacon sandwiches for our breakfast, for which he will never be allowed to forget. His signature song is now 'Firestarter' and he will henceforth be known as Burnie.

Other new nickanmes coined over the past four days are Rick the Vic and Bugle Boy. I will let them choose whether they want to explain those ones!! LOL

moar funny pictures

I'm stressed. Really stressed. Christmas does that to me.

You see, unlike most women (!!) I don't do multi-tasking. My brain is simply not wired up for that. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time and when I do I become completely engrossed in it until the job is finished. I can't concentrate in a room full of people or even with the radio on as even the slightest distraction makes it impossible for me to focus. Sometimes, if a task is linked up with other tasks I feel overwhelmed by it all and my stress levels go through the roof. My head feels like it's about to explode and I end up running away from it. This can apply to something very simple like housework. I can feel bogged down by everything that needs to be done and end up doing very little. It's like wading through treacle. Everything gets mixed up in my head and I can't pick one thing out at a time, it's like I don't have some necessary filter I need to ignore everything else. This makes it difficult for me in social situations, which is why I'm always the quiet one when there's a group conversation happening. I've always been like this but I used to cope ok until a few years ago when I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety. Several years on, several different antidepressants and a few years of psychotherapy later, and I've never regained that mechanism. Even though I am no longer depressed, I'm still surrounded by a bomb site which to me is a representation of how my life has fallen apart and I've never been able to pick up the pieces.

So, hopefully you can understand why Christmas becomes such a challenge for me. Too many things to think about and coordinate. Right now I just want to scream.

Last night it all became too much for me. Something went wrong with the dinner plans and caused friction between Mr Lisa and me, and I got in the car and drove to my sister's house. I didn't even go to talk, just being in a calm environment with sister hugs and kitty hugs on tap was all I needed. But the whole thing has left me feeling really, really low. I don't even think I can bring myself to go to theatre group rehearsals tonight (sorry guys). I feel like a sub-standard human being who will never be good enough for Mr Lisa and who can't even function properly in the world and that is quite devastating.

So I think today is going to be a day of misery, chocolate, Christmas shopping after work, more chocolate, followed by hot chocolate tonight accompanied by whinging about how fat I am due to overconsumption of chocolate.

So there.

At least the gallery for October 2007. I've half done October 2006. I'll finish it probably tomorrow. Then more galleries to come.

http://wgwmemories.moonfruit.com/

Anyway, sorry for the delay, but let's face it, if you were that desperate to see photos you'd have gone off and googled someone else's galleries as there are loads of them out there!!

Watch out for more pictures being uploaded.

It hasn't stopped raining for two days. The sky is almost black. It looks like we are in a perpetual twilight. I wear long skirts so going out means I get totally sodden round my ankles. Methinks platform boots are in order. That way I can walk on water. [guffaw]

I've still not done the Whitby report, mainly on account of the fact that I've been putting together a dedicated photo gallery site as I now have too many photos from all of the WGW's I've been to along with holiday and convention piccies, to name just a few. I anticipate having it finished anytime between this evening and Friday!! Depends on how much time I can devote to it.

Anyway, this weekend is going to be a busy one as far my social life goes. Friday night is Persecution night, and this Saturday plays host to the once a month cricket club do with Rock With Ramrod.

I forgot my cousin's birthday on Sunday. I have to post a belated card today and then it's her daughter's birthday next Sunday. Must remember to get a card for her as well.

Today has been a tiring day, not because of hard work, but from the sheer emotional strain that funerals and saying goodbye to loved ones seems to bring.

The service was lovely. Just as my uncle would have wanted it. So, that's it. Closure. Finality (is that even a word?). One day he was in our lives full of love and life, and suddenly he's gone, and there's a big empty space inside and at this moment I don't know how to fill it or even what to fill it with. I need sleep. I always need sleep when I've had an emotional time, it just seems to leave me feeling exhausted.

So, the plan for tomorrow: write the Whitby report and post the link to the photo album.

I'll miss you, Uncle George. I love you.

Ok, Whitby is well and truly over, but I have been rather tardy in getting those pictures uploaded and a report written. After three late nights plus the clocks going back an hour I seem to be suffering from an out-of-kilter body clock and have been too damned tired to do anything.

Still, I had planned on updating my blog this evening, but it will have to wait a bit longer.

Today I received a phone call from my mother to say there had been a terrible accident and my uncle (my dad's brother) had just died. It appears he fell out of the loft while storing stuff. He was as fit as a fiddle. Everyone is just in such shock. My dad has now lost both of his parents and both of his brothers. His brothers were both younger than him ... it isn't supposed to happen that way, surely?! I can't help but feel so angry. He was such a good bloke, a loving father. Didn't suffer from any illnesses. Strong as an ox. And then this happens. He has left behind a wife, three grown up children and a couple of grandchildren.

Right now I need a whisky. And a good cry. And an early night. The Whitby report can wait.

Right, I'm off to Whitby. I will not be back until Monday. Hang in there for the photos and a full report. As two of my friends who are going are Whitby virgins, this should be fun, if only to see the looks of utter astonishment on their faces. Yay!