Rantings

I had my pre-op assessment yesterday morning. It went ok, nothing to worry about for me. Apart from being overweight, I'm fit and healthy, so everything is going ahead as planned.

So, the date for the op is 27th March - a week today! I am nervous, naturally, and I've told Mr Lisa exactly that. He has to be there for me ... not at work. I've told him in no uncertain terms that he has to get his priorities right and he has to be there to look after me at home. I don't want anyone else visiting me.

I'll be admitted at 8am, but I have absolutely no idea what time I will be discharged. I have to ring the hospital to find out what the procedure is.

I know I may sound like I'm making a big thing out out of this as I am only having a small lump removed, but it is a big thing to me. I will be putting my life in the hands of a stranger (the anaesthetist) who will administer a controlled poison in order to bring me to a state close the death. Then another stranger will be cutting into and invading my body. This is all, to me, utterly terrifying and I have to prepare myself mentally for the whole thing. On top of all of that, I still have a worry that the lump may not be innocent. I know I have had a biopsy and it was benign, but my consultant told me he would still want to have me back for another in May if I didn't opt for surgery, to make sure it hadn't changed. This, to me, means it could change, and may have already changed by the time it's removed, so I will have another wait after the surgery until I get the results back from pathology.


This is going to be a long week. I can tell.